No. 164

Missing

This is going to be raw. I don’t know how else do talk about this.

Five days after I returned from my time in Atlanta and Tennessee, I had to say goodbye to my sweet cat, Marty.

He was such a fighter and so stubborn at times. After the vet discovered the lymphoma, they gave him a month to live. Marty gave me 8 months.

I’ve had trouble writing lately, because I want to write about him. But when I do, I cry hard. I miss him so badly and it still hurts.

His loss has made me think about those other lights I’ve lost. So today, here’s what I’m missing:

mornings on the porch, sipping tea, watching Marty explore the yard

the way he dipped his paw into milk to drink it

Marty’s stare in the middle of the afternoon, when he was ready for food

how he licked my little cat Cami clean when my mom brought her home

the way Marty curled up between my legs at night so we could sleep

the wrestling fights he and Hugo would get into

the moments where all he wanted to do was be next to me and sleep

how I kissed his belly hundreds of times after the surgery, wishing for a miracle

watching the transformation as Marty went from a scared cat from the pound to a trusting loyal friend

I wake up some mornings and still can’t believe I arrived here, that he’s gone. He was the glue in my little family of human plus three cats.

I’ve been thinking of all he taught me — to take time, to slow down, to love unconditionally and fiercely.

My heart is broken, but I am so incredibly grateful for all the time we did have.

About brandi

3 thoughts on “Missing

  1. Oh Brandi. Losing a pet hurts in a way that we never expect it to, in a deep way. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  2. Brandi, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I’ve been in this place many times before so I know all too well what you’re feeling. But all that pain is evidence of the deep love you shared and expressed so beautifully in this post. It’s little consolation but sending you the *biggest* hug right now. XX UB

  3. Thanks Brandi ! Pets are very important. We use to have spent time with pets including dogs, cats etc. We take care of the pets like humans like cleaning,bathing even if they get ill take them to doctors. They became our companion, like we have co-workers. Unfortunately we lost them we thought we lost a great friend and that friends only lives in our memories

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Credits

Jane Reaction

(logo and original branding) is a graphic design and art director who works with with small businesses and creative entrepreneurs, creating cohesive and interesting brands and websites.

Carrie Coleman

(photography) is a wedding photographer, whose goal is to capture the visual expression of a couple's love through timeless, organic images. She is based in Charlottesville, Virginia.