I’ve been searching for two decades.
Since I first began to daydream about what I would be when I grew up — a ballerina, an astronomer, a fashion designer, a marine biologist, a singer, an actress — I was desperate for a role that “fit.”
I sat in university classrooms, trying to decipher codes and puzzles made with numbers and ideas. I looked in bookshops everywhere I went, even if I didn’t know the language. I switched from one job to another, constructing dreams and plans around each, ways to move forward, to be more.
And while I gained knowledge, met interesting people, and found work that allowed me to live comfortably, I never discovered my purpose.
Until last Wednesday at about 9:25am. That’s when it finally hit me.
I sat at my desk meditating, trying to be grateful for my purpose in the world (whatever that was), when my purpose walked up and smacked me across the face. It had been right there the whole time.
I always thought that a person’s purpose came in some great act: through their research or writing, a scientific discovery, a job well done, a passion given life.
But that was only a piece of the truth.
I realized my purpose is in every moment, in everything I do, in every interaction and relationship I have. Eight years ago, my purpose was in working with children and showing them how smart they were, once they knocked their obstacles down. Now it is in every post I write, every act of kindness and love. It’s in designing websites and teaching archery and smiling at strangers.
In living and loving and being who I am, I live my purpose.
Maybe there are other big bright things in my future, and everything I do now prepares me to shine like that. But this moment is filled with as much purpose as those future ones. And that realization has been a game changer.
Have you found your purpose yet? Or are you still searching?