I was recently faced with this question: Do I have the right to change my mind after I have said yes and started in on a project or venture with a partner?
Promises are a sticky subject, and the answer to such questions isn’t always as simple as “well, you said yes and promised to do it so now you have to…forever.”
A bit of background: In addition to my main business, Alchemy+Aim, I also have two side partnerships with designer friends, both of whom I adore working with.
I’ve been working for the past several months to put more systems into place to reclaim some free time and create space for myself for my next big project (coming in January, says our plan). In that time, I’ve really been asking myself what do I want to stay doing and what do I want to delegate or give up. As a result, I’ve been forced to confront what the future of these partnerships will be and how involved I want to be with them going forward. Do I delegate or just get out?
Delegating a task is much easier to do than giving up an activity. Way easier.
No hurt feeling, or sad faces, or disappointed friends.
Hello, my name is Brandi and I’m people pleaser who hates disappointing people.
I’ve considered at different times giving up one or even both of these partnerships, asking myself if the work we’re doing is truly serving me, our businesses, the world.
But how do you change your mind and say no when you’re right there in the middle?
How can you be true to yourself and what you need to grow, and accept you may disappoint others in the process?
For me, the thought of altering course can bring up a lot of emotions and thoughts around failing people. I often think as much about their potential emotions around the situation as I do about my own. It makes a decision messier.
So what do I do? I start with what I want, because the only reaction I can be sure of is my own.
It has been crucial and incredibly empowering for me to learn how to own my desires and wants and needs.
Saying no creates space for new possibilities to emerge, often ones that are much better fits than what currently exists. And sometimes saying no allows the venture to transform into something even better, because you were willing to admit that its current state wasn’t working.
So my solution boils down to answering the question, “How can this endeavor evolved to serve both of us partners better as we grow?”
In one case, I think it means letting go. In the other, it means delegating the work and watching it become something even better.
Four Questions to Ask Yourself If You Need To Change Your Mind
- What do I really want / need / desire in my life that’s leading me to question my involvement?
- Is this project still serving everyone involved, or does it need to change?
- What are some possibilities of transformation for this project that would allow my needs to be met?
- What would my ideal outcome be if anything were possible?
When was the last time you gave yourself permission to change your mind?