I lit four candles on a Saturday evening the clouds had covered over. While they burned, I wrote down my dreams, the core dreams, the ones that drive me and wake me from my sleep and remind me of who I am.
Not the goals. Not the “write a novel” or “start another blog”. I strode past those dancers to the inner circle, the place where there is stillness, where there is the dance. Where all the colors are brighter and blur.
I found them in scenes, in senses. Candles burning down, a sun setting and rising and spilling light onto a forest and a field.
The goals are how to get to the dreams. And this blog is one of those goals, one of the cauldrons I can stir and spell and create meals for guests.
What are your dreams — the ones that live in the stillness and the dance? Beyond goals and concrete reality, how do you want to feel in this wildly precious life of yours? What are you bringing into existence?
Try this: Sit down with a pen and paper and dream about how you want your life to feel, what the goals you’re striving for get you closer to. Discover the colors you want to paint your life in. Maybe they’re dreamy pastels or bright bold strokes. Start there, then ask yourself what goals will embody those colors.
A few months ago, I took up archery. I’d been wanting to try my hand at the sport since I was in middle school, but the timing never worked out. Work got in the way, school got in the way, life got in the way. But finally, everything fell serendipitously into place: a beginner’s lesson; a teacher who was willing to work with me and a friend for free; a correspondence that led to a group of skilled traditional archers who have helped me improve significantly in a short period of time.
Archery has become an addiction, a way for me to meditate and connect with myself. I breathe. My whole body engages. My mind sharpens. The world behind me fades slightly as I focus.
Somewhere, in that stillness, I started to find pieces of myself. I discovered my desires and how they fuel me. Yes, Danielle LaPorte and her brilliant The Desire Map have also played a role in this awakening. But it was archery that allowed me to finally own one of my core desires: to feel powerful.
Power has always scared me, because somewhere in my mind, I equated it with control and manipulation, with taking advantage of others. But the power I have discovered comes from full presence, from stillness, from openness, from compassion.
Somehow, stepping into that desire made everything else I wanted clear. It has been changing the way I operate in this world. I’ve stopped obsessing about what others think about me and started celebrating the wild, unique individual I am.
What are your core desires? Are you owning them yet?